


Last thoughts

by Duke_Dana



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:22:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28752114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duke_Dana/pseuds/Duke_Dana
Summary: Hosea thoughts after the shoot until his death..
Relationships: Hosea Matthews/Dutch van der Linde
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	Last thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!   
> This is my first work in English, I only learn the language for 2 years.. so please have mercy. I wrote this one in the train back home, so I didn’t double check it 😓

I love the Gang, most of them were my family. I will miss them - not all of them. Micah was the snake, which spread poison in our group and I regret every minute I didn’t try to get rid of him. But I don’t want to waste any more thoughts to that bastard. I want to think about the better times, were we all sat around the campfire and sang some dirty songs, while we drank till the sun came out. I will miss them. 

Lenny really grew to my heart. The boy is smart and really knows how to talk, one day he will be even better then me. I can see him as an outlaw, but I know that he will also be able to live a different life in this new world. I just wished that I had more time to teach him a little more, but even tough I knew I would die sooner or later I thought I still had a little more time. 

I will miss my boys, my children. John isn’t the smartest, but he has a good heart and a wonderful small family. I still remember the day we took the small boy in our gang, he was so small... he did a lot of stupid stuff in his life, but he always tried his best. Hopefully he will take Abigail and Jack to a new place, they deserve better life then now. We are chased my everyone and we can’t trust anyone anymore.. Jack should grow up with out this problems, the world is changing and they have to change too, to be free. I regret that I didn’t push them further to leave. 

Arthur is also really an idiot. But only because he can’t see his own greatness. He may not be the best with his words, but this boy has a golden heart. My son still fulfills the idea of our gang and helps the people who need our help. We steal from the rich to make life better for us and the poor. Dutch seems to forget his ideals, but Arthur doesn’t. I wished that I had the chance to tell him that he should respect his self more and show him his strengths. 

Before I turned around I saw Dutch in the window and he looked at me with disappointment. I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I? He was probably really angry that I crushed the most important part in the plan. I am not sure that Dutch is still on the right track, but I don’t want to doubt him in my last thoughts. I just wished the last time I saw his big brown eyes they had a different expression. I really loved Bessie with all my heart, but Dutch is my soulmate. He saved me over twenty years ago, he gave me a purpose in life and thanks to him I actually felt alive. And then he saved me again after Bessies death. The last month were rough on us and after blackwater I may have lost some hope but I still always believed in Dutch. Since the gang grew so much over the years we barely had time together, just the two of us, he felt way too responsible for everyone to so he didn’t leave the camp anymore for a short trip. And he also had Molly, who took the last bit of time he had to spare. Love isn’t easy and our could have been our death sentence, that’s why I would never complain about the time. But now it’s over. I never thought it would end on the dirty street in Saint Denis, a city we both disliked with passion. 

My health got worse the last month and sometimes I dreamt of the perfect way too die. I would have tried my very best to take some of Dutchs time after we got the last bit of money for the big plan and we would go on a trip. Just the two of us in a small cabin somewhere in the woods, we would have had some wonderful days together until  
I get weaker and weaker. We would lie down in the bed and my fingers would gently stroke though my beloved black curls in Dutchs neck. Surrounded by the sound of the nature and in his strong arms I would fall asleep peacefully... that was the most selfish dream I ever had and getting shot was the most realistic way to die. 

The last thing that came to my mind was something Arthur told me in Horseshoe overlock: we would meet again in hell and the gang would be Together for the eternity. When he told me that I reacted way too harsh because I didn’t want to think about anymore people dying... but now I hope it’s true. I want to meet the gang again, everyone who died before and my big family will be reconnected.


End file.
